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Friday, July 2, 2010

i finally am seeing some light in my life. started smiling and laughing. finally letting go of Rainbow. I am seeing some brightness in my life, finally accepting the death of Rainbow.

but life is too jealous that im having a good life.

has to make me go over the grieving process all over again. but i blame myself.

yesterday my dearest bf was sick. down with fever. but i threw a mini tantrum. i was wearing heels and had to bring my lappie home. so i wanted bf to come fetch me.

Max was alright when he left the house.

But when we got home at 8.15pm, we saw Max, covered in diarrhea, lethargy. dont even want to move.

straight away i rushed to Pets Lover Centre at Yishun, they said they couldnt do anything. So i rushed down to Mount Pleasant at Sembawang. Their vet went back. So i rushed to Mount Pleasant Hospital.

Drip is put up, started feeding oral glucose, gave some medications. and allow Max to rest. Max was a little bit more alert after the initial does of oral fluids. Able to lift its head up, and look at us. I had hope.

11.40pm : replied an email to US colleague.

11.45pm : recieved a very random SMS from a friend to becareful while riding.

11.50pm: recieved a call from Mt Pleasant, Max collapsed.they are trying to resus him. i prayed.

12.05pm : recieved another call from Mt Pleasant, Max passed away. I burst into tears.

I rushed down to accompany Max. He looks like he's just sleeping, w/o the breaths. I cleaned him up, and just sat there hugging Max. His ears were pale, instead of the usual pink.

We left the hospital around 2pm.

We spend around $500+ but still unable to exchange it for Max's life.

I hate myself.

i am angry. if i never asked baby to come fetch me, he would have watched max, and we wouldnt be home so late.

i really wanna vent my anger. why Max! i want to be sick instead of Max!

i really dont know what did i do wrongly. nothing has been changed with Max's diet. and Max is eating well and everything.

I already bought several things to build Max a second floor cage. I bought Max new brush.

im so pissed. im so fucked up.


im your everyday nonsensical, stitch loving, stupidly annoying girl who judges you. You can locate me at: jocasta_silvermoon @hotmail.com Facebook <a href="http://www5.shoutmix.com/?bekandyscrump">View shoutbox</a> my MEAN friends Rosenna Fang Jenny Steph Suriannie Yueting XX Corde February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.	Friday, July 2, 2010 i finally am seeing some light in my life. started smiling and laughing. finally letting go of Rainbow. I am seeing some brightness in my life, finally accepting the death of Rainbow. but life is too jealous that im having a good life. has to make me go over the grieving process all over again. but i blame myself. yesterday my dearest bf was sick. down with fever. but i threw a mini tantrum. i was wearing heels and had to bring my lappie home. so i wanted bf to come fetch me. Max was alright when he left the house. But when we got home at 8.15pm, we saw Max, covered in diarrhea, lethargy. dont even want to move. straight away i rushed to Pets Lover Centre at Yishun, they said they couldnt do anything. So i rushed down to Mount Pleasant at Sembawang. Their vet went back. So i rushed to Mount Pleasant Hospital. Drip is put up, started feeding oral glucose, gave some medications. and allow Max to rest. Max was a little bit more alert after the initial does of oral fluids. Able to lift its head up, and look at us. I had hope. 11.40pm : replied an email to US colleague. 11.45pm : recieved a very random SMS from a friend to becareful while riding. 11.50pm: recieved a call from Mt Pleasant, Max collapsed.they are trying to resus him. i prayed. 12.05pm : recieved another call from Mt Pleasant, Max passed away. I burst into tears. I rushed down to accompany Max. He looks like he's just sleeping, w/o the breaths. I cleaned him up, and just sat there hugging Max. His ears were pale, instead of the usual pink. We left the hospital around 2pm. We spend around $500+ but still unable to exchange it for Max's life. I hate myself. i am angry. if i never asked baby to come fetch me, he would have watched max, and we wouldnt be home so late. i really wanna vent my anger. why Max! i want to be sick instead of Max! i really dont know what did i do wrongly. nothing has been changed with Max's diet. and Max is eating well and everything. I already bought several things to build Max a second floor cage. I bought Max new brush. im so pissed. im so fucked up. 9:06 AM ·