I've had quite a number of boyfriends. but i have only truly loved 3 guys in my past. obviously 2 of them hurt me badly and because of them i'm happily attached.

My first love was in Secondary 2 (AES). (some of you may thing that im too young to know what is love, but heck, i loved and i loved hard. obviously, i fell hard too). I was class mate with him for 1 year plus, only that one fine day smth hit me and i realised that i had this feeling for him. I waited for 8 months before i actually confessed. I liked him for 8 months. that i remember clearly. i tried to get close to him, being his good friend. but it seems to be that he was wooing one of my good friend. I was upset, i was angry, but i didnt show it. after 8 long months of seeing him flirt around with other girls etc, i broke down and confessed. So, he returned his feelings and we both got together. It was tough, i was trying to impress him, and his elder sister was in the same school as we were, (makes it even harder). we were like this cute couple who seats together in class etc etc.

Then i was in this school talent show where i totally humiliated myself, and he couldnt stand me and wanted to break off with me. i remember, we met at CCK, he told me it was over and he left. i took the bus home myself and i was crying at the back seat. the last seat. i was crying so hard, everyone's looking at me.

i kinda literally begged him to take me back. so he gave me another chance and we started all over. it was all good and the holidays came. I had to move house to Yishun, but i was so willing to go to school at bukit timah just to be with him. My dad and sister wanted me to transfer school. but i refused to. i wanted to still be in the same school with him.

i invited him up to my new home, and we'd watch DVDs.

and suddenly one fine day, he broke up with me. i was so fucked up that period of time. to be honest, i was soooooo heartbroken, my mind has automatically blocked out all memories from the day he broke up with me.

i had no idea why, i had no idea where, how, when. i only vaguely remember that it was around the december holidays.

and because i had no face to face him, so i demanded to transfer school.

I still had to go back to my old school for about 2 weeks? and i heard that he is chasing another girl. woah i was so emotionally unstable that i wanted to die. LITERALLY.

up to today, i have NO memories of my 1-2 weeks in my old school, NO memories of him breaking up with me. Its like a missing piece between december to january. (i was even in a class photo that i have no idea i took)

so i've transferred. i was still hurting. but of cause i act like nothing has ever happened. that's where i met my current BFFs.

2nd love. was from NSS. I think i was in the end of secondary 3?? i got to knw this guy who was in trouble. and seeked my help. but unfortunately his case didnt go well. i remember that i have skipped school and stayed at my friend's house until it was nearer to the time of the hearing. i took his dad's cab to the court and was shaking when i was seated there. As soon as i see him, my tears started flowing. it was a room filled with emotions. his family is there, his sister is crying, i was crying, his dad is keeping his tears in. His friends were all waiting outside. i remember the tension in the room, when the judge passed out his sentence, woah mixed feeling, anger, sadness, frustration etc. mostly anger at the judge and the person who caused him to be there. i burst into tears as soon as he stood up. i could feel the pain in my heart. the pain that was even worst when i broke up with my bf (as above) He requested to speak to his sister, and the judge approved. oooh, i was PISSED. why dont wanna speak to me! i tot he was playing me luh. i went out of the court and CRIED like mad women. u can ask all his friends. how was my emotions and expressions that day.

i went back and continued crying. and for the next few days my eyes were still swollen and red. Fang was the one who's always there for me.

i remember visiting him, with his sis, i was acting strong and all but as soon as i left the place, i was crying like mad women.

waited for him for 6 months plus, i think. and soon, the feeling seems to fade away. i didnt seem to receive his letters as much, and so i thought the fading feelings were mutual.

OH his friends and family were PISSED OFF when i said that im not gonna wait any longer. but in my mind i thought that 'i've already waited for so long, and he hurt me so much in the beginning, he owes me that much'

and so, the relationship ended.

but although the heart aches and pain, i believed everything happened for a reason.

if i never got together with my bf in AES,

he wouldnt have hurt me and i

wouldnt have transferred, and

wouldnt have known my bf in NSS, and

wouldnt get so close to Fang, and

wouldnt have knwn Fang's friend and

wouldnt be intro-ed to Andy, and

wouldnt be happy right now.

I have found my Mr Right and we are happily together for coming 5 years. This love is so special and so strong, i was happy to have gone through the broken hearts to get to this love.

And from the past i learn to appreciate my BF more and to love him with all that i have.

Everything is linked to another and that's why i strongly believe that things happens for a reason.

I hope my friend would pick herself up and have more faith, its not the end of the world. its gonna be hard, i'd know.

but you have to drop everything and start over again.

Jiayou bah, my bestie.