Some times i think to myself, how nice if the feeling i am feeling is out of guilt of not being nicer to her. But i know that none of my emotions are based on guilt, and that's what makes me more upset. Cause i genuinely loved her and treated her well.

I still feel like crying each time i close my eyes and see her face. I still feel like calling her back.

Each time im on the bike, i look into the sky and try to find her amongst the cloud. but each time i reach my destination with disappointment.

I really want to bring her home. But the discussion for her urn placement have caused a stir in our family.

I miss her. and when i saw the short video of her, i almost wanted to burst out crying. Although the video had nothing special, just had her sitting on the chair, looking around, it brought back many memories.

Im not sure when can i accept the fact and when can i go over to my aunt's house again. I dont think its too soon, but i hope its not long. Because Phoenix will be alone and neglected.

Sigh.