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Saturday, April 17, 2010
I don't know what's this feeling. A little of unhappiness mxed with anger and misery. I'm in an emotional turmoil right now. I really hate this feeling. I know everything should be back to normal but I can't do it. I can't pretend that nothing happened. I cannot just forget..
Yes it's a small issue, but if with 5 phonecalls irritated him until he had to shout, I can't imagine a future when we're married and I'm not allowed to call him or do anything that will irritate him.
I can't see the picture with us, married, holding hands in the park. That vision vanished when he shouted at me yesterday. That beautiful, sweet loving image is gone.
I'm upset so bad, that I really want to cry and get away from here. I want to go to my own retreat. My corner where I can just cry my eyeballs out.
I don't know what to do.
Yes it's a small issue, but if with 5 phonecalls irritated him until he had to shout, I can't imagine a future when we're married and I'm not allowed to call him or do anything that will irritate him.
I can't see the picture with us, married, holding hands in the park. That vision vanished when he shouted at me yesterday. That beautiful, sweet loving image is gone.
I'm upset so bad, that I really want to cry and get away from here. I want to go to my own retreat. My corner where I can just cry my eyeballs out.
I don't know what to do.