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Monday, May 4, 2009
im tired
im so exhausted mentally. i feel that i've changed so much compared to the past 'me'.
i was always smiling, happy, cheerful, talkative, excited over small silly things, so spontaneous, always fun and so 'alive'.
i was an extrovert.
i was all about 'living life to the fullest' and 'our lives is about the journey, not the destination'.
i was into something new every week.
i did not care about what others say.
and now...
i am so dull, always frowning, throwing temper. being grumpy, dont even smile much, dont even talk much.. to everything i say 'no' or 'dont want'. when there's an event or a holiday, i dont even look forward to it.
now im an introvert.
i keep thinking 'shit, today will be another bad day' and 'can i not go through today'.
the me now has low self esteem and is cautious about each move i make.
even retail therapy has no effect on me anymore.
im so tired with my new me.
i wan help. but i get none.
i miss the old me.
im so exhausted mentally. i feel that i've changed so much compared to the past 'me'.
i was always smiling, happy, cheerful, talkative, excited over small silly things, so spontaneous, always fun and so 'alive'.
i was an extrovert.
i was all about 'living life to the fullest' and 'our lives is about the journey, not the destination'.
i was into something new every week.
i did not care about what others say.
and now...
i am so dull, always frowning, throwing temper. being grumpy, dont even smile much, dont even talk much.. to everything i say 'no' or 'dont want'. when there's an event or a holiday, i dont even look forward to it.
now im an introvert.
i keep thinking 'shit, today will be another bad day' and 'can i not go through today'.
the me now has low self esteem and is cautious about each move i make.
even retail therapy has no effect on me anymore.
im so tired with my new me.
i wan help. but i get none.
i miss the old me.
scrumpdumb <3
4th May, 12.57am